How To Overcome Your Money Fears Before They Overcome You

One of the things I regularly see in The Wealth Game is fear around money. Even the word ‘money’ can invoke a flight or fight response in some people. I will often see people at The Wealth Game become ungrounded when triggered by fear; they will start to daydream, become off center, not follow their money rules and be easily influenced by others.

I get asked a lot about how to move forward in the face of fear and stay well and truly grounded on the way to achieving money goals. The questions we need to ask are.

Where does fear come from?

Fear is a natural response to a perceived threat; its primary function is to protect us and ensure our survival and is a very healthy and necessary response to a lion or animal trying to eat you 10,000 years ago. Now we get the same fear response over a decision we need to make, or when we’re unsure what the outcome of a situation will be. We can often ignite the fear response because we have become uncertain and ungrounded. 

Becoming ungrounded often means we have not set the proper foundations in place. Having solid foundations means that when inevitable problems arise in your life, the foundations you have set in place will help you stay grounded so you can focus on the solutions and move forward. Solid foundations are not just for your money but your health, self, wealth, family and fun houses too. 

How do I become grounded and conquer fear?

Firstly, fear does not need to be conquered. Fear is an important emotion to have, its purpose is to keep you alive and make sure your survival is not under threat.

When I worked in the Oil & Gas Industry, I was introduced to a safety system called “Take 5, ” and is used before you start a new task.  The point of it is to step back, take five moments to look at the situation and consider all the safety measures required for the job. Consider your well-being & mindset, consider your team, the task ahead, consider if there is anything that needs doing or changing before you start. Take into account your skills and those of the team, are they the right skills for the task?

It is this type of behaviour and habit that can make you more mindful of the present situation so you can acknowledge your fear and give it the opportunity and space required to assess the risks and be satisfied that all is well.

When fear appears in situations in your life “Take 5” and ask the relevant questions to be certain that all is well:

“Is my survival, or anyone else’s, under threat in this situation?”

“Am I feeling good about this situation?” (Your gut feeling often knows before you do that something is off)

“Have I employed all the right skills for this situation?” “If not, what else do I need?”

“Do I have all the right instructions and tools for the situation?” “If not, what else do I need?”

“Do I have an action plan to follow?” If not, create one – when you feel the fear creep back in you can refer to your well-considered plan, so you don’t miss a step and assure it everything is OK.

“Is there anything else I need before I move forward?”

Asking these questions will get you “out of your head,” which is where fear likes to hang out, and become more grounded because you’re looking at the “actual” reality of the situation and implementing solutions rather than the “perceived” reality created by uncertainty and fear.

How do I acknowledge the fear and keep moving forward?

Fear: “Something’s not quite right.”

You: “OK thanks, let’s take a look together and see if there’s any danger
Fear: “OK see that, is that safe?”
You: “Oh you’re right, that’s not so safe. Let’s plan a way to stay safe.”
Fear: “Yes, good idea, here’s a solution I thought of to avoid the danger.”
You: “Oh yes, I hadn’t thought of that. Thank you so much for keeping me safe.”
Fear: “You’re welcome, you can keep going now.”

If you acknowledge and listen to the feedback, then adjust accordingly, it gives fear no reason to be anything but feedback and an opportunity to check, adapt and continue playing.

 

How do I then move through the fear?

What fear is asking from you is a moment to consider your survival in the present situation. When you allow yourself this moment to assess the whole situation and ask the questions above and assure it that all is OK, then fear will go back to its place and be ready to show up again and give feedback in the next situation that seems unsafe.

Now that fear has receded you take immediate action according to your plan.

Taking action is the only way to move forward, fear can be welcomed on the ride although you’ll need to ensure you’re always leading your way and not being slowed or stopped altogether by fear.

 

IAW Team

Mark Robinson

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